David Nail

I’m slowly getting famous, or least my blogs are, this according to the infamous Autumn House. One of a hundred flattering things I heard this past week during CRS (Country Radio Seminar). Thanks to all of you!!!

I’m in the Nashville airport about to board a flight to Kansas City, and then catch another plane to Seattle. To say I’m stoked about spending tonight in Seattle would be like saying The Bachelor didn’t come across as a jerk this past Monday night. In other words, it’d be a huge understatement. 

I’ll be spending this flight listening to the new U2 cd. 

I’m sitting on the floor opposite of my gate cause this seems to be the only side with electric outlets, and the sun is burning through the windows, so I’m hiding behind a row of chairs. The flight from KC to Seattle will be a long one, so I will need 100% battery if I’m going to let my computer keep me entertained. 

It’s funny how I can remember to bring that extra shirt or pair of underwear, but I couldn’t think to bring a DVD! Unreal!!!

The Nashville airport has their act together. I was entirely too early today for my flight. I got here an hour and a half early and there was no one at my gate. The new security gates move quickly, so I think I’ll be getting here a little later in the future. 

I often watch the people getting off the arriving plane I’m about to board, and wonder what it is they’re about to do in my city. 

I’m flying all Southwest this week. That has me smiling, though I have to lug my guitar around the airports all week, and it gets heavy after a day or so…

If I’m really one of the first 20 to board my flight from KC to Seattle, I’m going to pee on myself. Something tells me that plane will come from somewhere else with people already on it. I learned this last year going to Seattle!

If anyone needs me tomorrow about 8am west coast time, I’ll be at the Pike Place Market in Seattle watching them throw the fish around like Ward and I did last year.

K, this will be it until I’m on the plane at 10,000 feet, when they say it’s safe to turn our stuff on…

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My bad Miss Flight Attendant, I wasn’t aware it was a one-time option to request a beverage! I mean what in the heck; forgive me for trying to take a short nap!

So they say it’s raining in the KC area, and though I in no way want any part of flying thru thunderstorms, I really want to make it to Seattle tonight. I mean no offense to KC, but the airport isn’t exactly in a prime location, and I’d rather not eat from the Holiday Inn restaurant menu. Depending on how close the Seattle Westin is to all the downtown excitement, I have my night and morning already planned out, and I don’t like to break plans of any sort.

I’ve got a Yankee fan right to my left, and if there were a picture definition of what a Yankee fan looks like, this guy would be the chosen one.

I’m not exactly sure how old Bono is from U2, but he sings like an 18 year old energized Irishmen.

FYI: I got my beverage, and it’s an ice-cold cup of orange juice.

The sky is the strangest looking thing right now from high above the clouds. It’s like we’re driving right atop a sheet of white road, and the road runs right off the sides into the brightest blue you’ve ever seen.

How about those North Carolina Tar heels? A lot of you began wearing me out when they lost a few games, but I’m looking pretty smart this afternoon.

A few people have mentioned that I should turn these blogs into a book, and I eventually would love to do so. 

This Latino male flight attendant has an Oakland Raider key ring. He must live a painful life each year from August to December! 

It’s suddenly about 32 degrees on the plane, as if we’re flying over Antarctica, and yes, I know that wouldn’t matter, but it’s borderline hypothermia level in here.

Is it Hyperthermia or Hypothermia? I haven’t a clue, but I took a guess anyways.

If there were Internet on flights, I would kiss every person on this plane twice.

Suddenly, my blue sky has disappeared.

I cannot see how people sleep sitting up in these seats. Heck, I can barely sleep in the Heavenly Beds in the Westin hotels, much less in an above average beach chair. Everyone around me is sleeping as if they haven’t slept in weeks, and I’m not talking naps, these folks are OUT!

I can remember stealing my Swiss Army backpack from EJ Bernas when he was still living in Dallas, and I thought I was so cool trucking around the airports with that new fancy bag. I felt like a 20-year rich kid walking around the Pepperdine University campus. Well I don’t feel so cool now, mainly because the lady beside me who happens to be my mother’s age, but yet has shorter hair than me, and a 1983 Ohio State sweatshirt on, has the same dang bag. 

I keep waiting for someone on this plane to walk up, tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey David, Ryan Adams really isn’t engaged to Mandy Moore, that was all a joke.”

It’s less than 50 degrees on this plane, I’m almost sure of it, and I’m not at all happy about it. Try sitting still with no sun in 50 degree weather, it might as well be 19!!!

Do they sell coffee on planes, or better yet give it away; well I’m about to find out?

We are landing, I’ve flown enough to sense it, and guess what, I’m right! Before I could even finish that sentence, the pilot came on and said “ding, ding, ding, and yes David you are correct”! Not really, but he did say we were approaching KC!

Peace out until I get 10,000 feet over Kansas (yuck)! 

You got 4 more hours of me people! This will be the longest ever!!!


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Yo, Yo, Yo!!! So I’m back up in the sky, and geez and I’m over the turbulence. On the way up, and on the way down it felt almost as bad as taking off in Birmingham two weeks back. I must have had about 100 of the smoothest flights ever the last few years, cause I’ve been experiencing a whole different level of lack of comfort the past few weeks. 

So it’s a mixture of folks on this flight. A few kids, a few elders, and a few young adults like myself. I’m about to find the best cheap sushi in Seattle when I get to my hotel, and pray they’re still open. If you’d have told me back in 1996 that’d I’d be on a plane headed for Seattle craving – 

Time-Out

I’m looking at the most unreal thing I’ve ever seen. I opened my windows and I can see where the sun is still lighting the earth. It’s like total darkness and then a tiny bit of reddish purple, then a bit of Carolina Blue (holla holla), and then it goes back to dark. Holy cow this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed in my 29 plus years. I’m speechless!!!
I don’t even know if I can do anything but stare at this.

K, back from the time-out, and I’ll try to pick up where I left off. I never thought I’d ever be craving raw fish, but at the moment I’m starving, and I figure Seattle’s got to be one of the best places in North America to eat sushi. 

So I realized I had my camera and jumped up to take a picture of the sky, and guess what, the battery’s is dead. I’m a smart kid I tell you!!!

I feel awful at the moment, really sick inside…

If someone can explain to me in college dropout terms how I’m flying 40,000 feet in the air, please do so, cause I never lose the fascination…

Ladies, the key to a man’s heart is a short bread cookie, or at least my key is! I’m going to start flying out west more often cause the snacks are way better…

The guy beside me copied my orange juice request. I’ve always been a trendsetter.

Those short bread cookies just literally got dominated!

Okay, this flight has taken a turn for maybe the best ever! Not only did we get short bread cookies (I’m about to asked for seconds), but also the dude just handed me a whole orange juice without me even asking. I mean I always have to ask for extra. Who needs first class? Southwest Airlines is the absolute way to go. I don’t care if they don’t fly where I got to go now; I’m flying to the closest spot (except for Islip in Jersey), and then driving the rest. I flew into Islip once, and that’s a long drive to NYC, it’s better to just fly on into New York.

I’ve got 3 more hours of flying, and I’m coming to grips with the fact that my battery don’t have a chance in hell of lasting 3 more hours with 20% gone already. That depresses me!!!

So let’s get to the serious issue at hand! Has anyone bought Catherine and I a wedding gift? I mean we’re registered at both Macy’s and Target, so surely you all can find something on there to give us… I think you all should put some money together and get me that Playstation 3 that I personally selected. I’ll be happy with a towel, or maybe one of the picture frames from Target. Ahh, just a thought I suppose!!!

I really should have broken this into two blogs. Some of you are probably bored by now, but guess what, so am I, so you’ll have to suffer!!!

I just misspelled broke!!! I’m really something!!!

I wonder what the pilots are up there doing. I bet they’re just sitting up there talking about their wives and kids, when in reality, they could be explaining to me how the hell we’re 40,000 feet in the air. 9/11 was awful for obvious reasons, but its little things like that that I bet happened all the time. Maybe not a 29-year-old singer, but I bet little kids went into the cockpit all the time. Thanks Osama!

Osama isn’t in spellcheck and nor should he ever be. 

I can remember feeling so naïve when 9/11 happened. I had never flown before, and was completely clueless how something so surreal could ever happen. It seemed like a movie to a small town kid from Missouri. I still can’t imagine what it’s like for those who lost loved ones that day. I flew into NYC six months to the day it happened, and I felt the biggest pit in my stomach as we flew around the city. I felt that same pit while telling that story over again,

Time usually flies by while blogging, that isn’t the case on this Monday night somewhere over the Dakota’s. 

6 Pages! Can you handle anymore? I suppose we’ll see.

I’ve sort of run out of things to say. I think the 9/11 references kind of killed my buzz so to speak. I’ll let the computer sleep for a bit and see if I’m re-inspired later.

TWO MORE HOURS!!! HORSE MANUER! 

I’m seriously about to come out of this seat. I just ran back to the back bathroom and hung out in the bathroom for what I thought was a good 5 to 10 minutes. It was 3!

You guys are stuck with me for a good bit longer now! Sorry!!!

Why would you sleep on this flight if Seattle were your home? Won’t you just be wired when you get home and it’s actually time to sleep? Some people confuse me.

Southwest is losing some corn on this flight. I counted 8 people with rows completely to themselves more or less comatose. I don’t think there’s a single row completely filled unless it’s a family of 3! 

I reached down to pick my jacket up and realized one sleeve is soaked in something that doesn’t particularly smell like water. Oh well, what can you do?

I want Chinese food. It’s my favorite food of all. If I had one last meal, I’d make it my mother’s steak and gravy with her homemade Mac and Cheese, but other than that, I’d have crab wontons and beef fried rice. I love a lot of the other Chinese dishes, but I can’t spell them, so let’s just leave it at what I said. 

I’d love to one-day do an album of Ryan Adams covers.

That whole picture perfect sundown skyline is long gone. It’s plain dark as heck now…

I’m so bored. I’ve chewed about all the skin around my fingernails off. That’s what I normally do when I’m nervous, but I suppose it’s spread to when I’m bored now.

The guy beside me is playing a video game on his I-phone with what looks to be his Kroger card, or Sun Tan City card, or whatever little key chain card he might have. They probably don’t have Sun Tan City’s in Seattle, but if they do, I may be due for a lay tomorrow if it’s as cold as they’ve predicted. 

It’s times like these when I wish Catherine were here. She talks so much that it’s never boring. She’d probably know exactly what kind of card this guy’s playing with cause she would’ve asked him 30 minutes ago. That woman doesn’t know a stranger. She’d talk to a tree if the branches would just move back and forth.

Only you die hards will have made it this far, and quite frankly, I even question you’re faithfulness. I would’ve tapped out a while ago, probably when I started asking for gifts.

We’re now approaching 8 pages, which has got to be the longest blog by any new country artist from the last 3 decades. I’m probably safe for this decade, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t blog back in the Merle Haggard days.

Okay, now this guy has put down his “Kroger Card” and begun reading a book that I’m going to take a wild guess and say is in Japanese! Wow, as if I didn’t know the guy was smarter than me before, now he just had to rub it in my face. What a jerk… I bet he can’t sing “Boys of Summer” by Don Henley, or say he’s label-mates with George Strait.

I may have just broken my seat. I’m completely out of my zone tonight.

I may not write another blog for 2 years after this one. My computer may explode if I hit save again on this thing. I never dreamed I could type so fast to only kill 2 hours so far. 

I want to ask this guy where the best sushi places are, but I think that might be stereotyping, and I don’t like to be unsure about things such as this.

The New Kids on The Block are coming to Nashville next week and I’m sincerely sad I’m going to miss it... Laugh as you will, but that was my childhood.

I can’t see anything right now. We must be somewhere over Montana I would assume. I bet this flight is beautiful in the daytime, but at the moment, I can barely see the wing outside my window. 

I’m in what they call first class on most planes. The first row on Southwest is simply one of two rows (the other being the exit row) that have the most room. I got lucky folks…

I just want to run up and down the aisle one time and scare people. I really want to make a new friend who’ll take me to all the cool stores in the morning so I don’t have to look them all up on my phone. Oh geez, 8 pages down…

I’m not being funny, but I wonder if you read nonstop, if you could read the Bible on a roundtrip from Nashville to Seattle?
9th page. I’m sorry guys, but I don’t have a movie, and plus it would drain all my battery anyway.

I wonder what this guy would say if I asked him to read that Japanese book to me? 

I can’t imagine what I will do if I have to fly to Europe. There is absolutely no way I’ll be able to do it. I would die. They would seriously kick me off the plane. I may have to go stretch again here in a bit; this is awful with no one to talk to.

I can see little lights down below, which means there’s life down there, and I wonder if they know David Nail is flying above them? That’d be pretty sweet if they knew who I was…

I’ve written almost 9 full pages so far. If book reports and essays were this easy in college, I’d have my doctorate. 

I’ve run out of metaphors to describe my boredom. It’s reached infinity proportions. (I can’t lie; I misspelled proportion the first go-around)

I’ve forgotten the reason behind semicolons, so I’m glad the spellcheck fixes them for me.

If Autumn House is still reading, I must be really good at writing these things.

I’m about to hit someone. I’m seriously losing MY mind. I got to take a break…

Okay guys, I think we have about 30 to 45 minutes, and I’ve managed to settle down a bit. I’m going to sign off on this particular blog, and Tuesday when we head to Spokane I’ll have more to say I’m sure. You guys be good and keep requesting Red Light! Thanks again, DNail

Red Light Red Light Red Light

P.S. I didn't have time to read thru this and make sure my grammar is correct, so please forgive any goofs!